Length of Ceremony: 1.5 hours
Theme: Summer's here! AVERT YOUR EYES
Entertainment Factor/Ceremony:
I called ahead for this godshop and spilled my guts about never having gone to mosque before. I spoke to a nice man that made me feel retarded for being so nervous and consequently, made my latent Islamaphobia glaringly apparent. I asked if there was anything I needed to know/do for my visit and he said I should probably cover my feet and ankles, and wear a scarf. No big.
The day of, I picked out a new scarf from a store and wore it around town to get a feel for it.
When I arrived to the address I was given, I was confused by the number of entrances and eeny, meeny, miny, moe'd a door that led to a staircase. I walked up, was abruptly met by a man saying, "NO! NO! NO! NO!" and he backed me out of the door. When we were on the street, he explained that this was the men's entrance. SHIT. After a rambling, nervous explanation on my part, he went and got the man I had spoken to on the phone. The friendly phone man greeted me warmly and we both had a chuckle about my blunder. Shucks.
He brought me to a side entrance, that I proceeded into alone. Inside, was a bare basement room in which about 30 women and children sat. The room as mentioned, was very minimalistic and centred around a closed-circuit T.V. that played a live feed of the man-only upstairs.
There was a lot of warm greetings and cheek kissing and for a minute I thought I was in a scene from the sisterhood of the travelling pants.
It was a total love fest and some women explained that this was the best part of their week and if they missed their Friday prayer and lesson, they felt a piece of them was missing. Beautiful.
What was going on upstairs? I could see some shoulders of men and eventually a man took a seat in the chair the camera was focused on.
This man began his lesson by reminding us that as summer approached people would be shedding clothes and he outlined specific instructions on how to avert our gaze. Apparently, we are meant to look at the world around us...If we didn't, we would trip and fall over things! However, it is when we stare for unnecessary periods of time, or (Allah forbid) do a DOUBLE TAKE, that we commit an act that is "Haraam," or forbidden. And a haraam, like looking at a woman in shorts, inevitably leads to more and even bigger haraams.
Next, he griped about how some of his "brothers" forget to turn off their mobile devices during any of the five prayer times throughout the day and how this detracts from submission to Allah.
Then, he broke down his assertion that every human child is born muslim. Apparently, everyone until they make a misstep and join another religion remain so naturally.
Finally, he cut the notion of original sin to shreds. I back that. Why the fuck would you blame a baby for the sins Adam and Eve? or the sins of any other cartoon character for that matter??
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| Pedo |
Then, we all faced Mecca, bowed down and placed our foreheads to the floor four times.
On the day of Promise of Heaven/Salvation: oh baby
Space: Well not too sure about the rest of the place, as I was in a basement. The outside looked like four conjoined mid-century storefronts.
Free Food: No, but the Libyan community was having a barbecue in Surrey that we were invited to after prayer.
Equity Policy: errrrrrrrrrr... They believe everything that christians and jews believe only more updated. version 2.0. Women are seen as fields to be "seeded on" and if you're gay you're fucked.
Community Involvement: A fixed amount of your annual income must go to helping the poor (If you can afford it).
$$$$$(cost): Donation bin "toolbox" at the front
Participants (looks, conversation, etc.): The most beautiful women in the world were crammed into this basement. It was like the Islamic united nations. There were Chinese-Canadian, Russian, Libyan, Kazakhstani, and Sudanese muslims to name a few. From what I gathered, some lived in the area and some, like myself, were stronger in conversational english over arabic (the language in which the Qur'an/the word of god was originally written) and came to this centre over other primarily arabic speaking islamic congregations. Anyway, they were really friendly and nice and I liked them even though they would probs have me stoned me for the stuff I did even an hour before going there.
Blind Faith Factor (BFF/WOW factor):
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
"Naw, no thanks” shrugs “All in”
Mshuxtable's rating
2
^There is still no such thing as god in my opinion, so submitting to allah would be silly.
Glad you finally put that third pillar of Western monotheism in place. I was worried this house would fall. Good writeup, Claire
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