Yesterday (May 8th, 2011), I visited the Vancouver Church of Scientology for a scheduled introductory lecture. Outstanding features of this religion include the following: (deep breath)
ensuring one's optimal survival
Individually, creatively, in groups, as a species, as part of all living things, as part of the physical universe, as a spiritual being, and along the path to infinity....
self help through courses
In actuality, these are self-directed study hall sessions based on L. Ron Hubbard's books. Learning centers are known "spiritual universities." The end goal is to be free of negative energy.
auditing
A blend of cold reading and psychotherapeutic imaging intended to track traumas from both early life and previous lives. E meters are used to track negative energies that are traces of traumatic memories stored by the "reactive" part of the brain. Personally, I believe the e meter is actually a galvanic skin response device that measures skin conductivity/sweatiness. The SAME device I used in a grade 7 science fair project to compare my dad's reactions to Mozart and Alice in Chains.
purification rituals
Basically just a gym/sauna/supplement routine to rid the body of toxins. All churches have these spas.
a rigid hierarchical structure, a yacht for elite members, features of a multinational corporation, political sway and little to no sense.
Length of Ceremony: I WAS THERE FOR 3 HOURS
Theme: DVD's menu had several chapters.
Entertainment Factor/Ceremony: I announced myself to a secretary stating that I had an appointment. A woman who looked like Gonzo with silver eye shadow led me into a small meeting room with a large flat screen TV.
She asked if I had specific questions, I said no, she popped in a DVD and she left the room. She came in every once in a while to make sure it was still playing. It was. And it did for 45 minutes.
After some intense question/answer (not really), I took a 200 question personality test that consisted of confusing, poorly worded questions about inane topics ranging from "do you believe the bar-less jail policy is doomed to failure?" to "Do you greet people but mostly your friends effusively" (approximations of actual questions).
Upon the 2nd hour of my visit, I had my test results in hand and my Gonzo friend interpreted them for me.
 | ||
| The grey line is normal. Apparently, i am depressed, nervous, unstable, critical of others and in great need of dianetics. |
Promise of Heaven/Salvation: depends on your personal beliefs. Scientology is like an "APP" used in combination with other faiths.
Space: Boxy outside. Inside as i found out -When I was escorted to the can- is a maze of bustling backrooms including a purification centre, scientology chill spot, study hall and who knows what else. A lot of mystery surrounds the 'tologists.'
Free Food: Naw dog.
Equity Policy: All "men" are created equal (except evil people)
Community Involvement/outreach: Thank the tologists for NARCONON, CRIMINON, the Association for Better Living and Educationz and the Citizens Commission on Human Rights (look them up if you want...they far-reaching)
$$$$$(cost): OBV. Multinational corporation offers free intro session and personality test (first taste is free-appeal to junkies-) and charges for the DVD/BOOKS/ALL OTHER NECESSARY INFO. I think the first session was kept vague for a reason.
Participants (looks, conversation, etc.): Famous tologists range from Beck to Charles Manson and others in between that never went to school. The others I encountered were ex-junky types with confidence issues or older adults wearing high wasted slacks and vacant looks. Gonzo claimed she was in Vancouver's most popular 50's cover band...I googled the name she gave me and found nothing. The way that the information was presented made it seem plausible that scientology is most appealing to the dumb and desperate.
Blind Faith Factor (BFF/WOW factor):
FUCK OFF
You should check out their sunday morning services....Holy crap its crazy!
ReplyDeleteNarconon is a nasty, dangerous front of quackery, under investigation in Canada as we speak.
ReplyDeleteThe sooner this cult collapses the better.
The scientologists do NarcOnon, not narcotics anonymous. Narconon uses dangerous megadoses of niacin, combined with physical exercise and sauna. It is partially based on L. Ron Hubbard's non-scientific and false views about how drugs are stored in fatty tissues and can be sweated out of the body. Medical supervision is frequently inadequate, and the 'students' (as they are called) often have prescribed medications confiscated.
ReplyDeleteNarconon 'students' do obligatory mind-altering scientology training (not named as such), and are often recruited as Narconon employees and as scientologists.
Narconon conceals its affiliation with scientology (being in reality a subsidiary). It advertises as a secular rehab approach. It also boasts an entirely fictitious success rate in the region of 75% (the figure given varies, but it's usually in the 70-80% range).
David Love, a former 'student' and then employee of Narconon at Trois-Rivieres, QC, is currently taking on Narconon in Canada. Further information about Narconon in Canada can be found by googling him. Or check out http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewforum.php?f=12 .
I used to test my dad's reaction to Alice in Chains by playing the parts with swearing super loud.
ReplyDeleteA++ blog, will read again.
oh hi
ReplyDeleteyour blog-post has gotten noticed
http://forums.whyweprotest.net/threads/vancouver-agnostic-gets-scilon-intro-lecture-includes-escort-to-toilet.88153/
and Anonymous approves of your Tone :)
well said
Important note: NARCONON IS NOT N.A.! N.A. is Narcotics Anonymous, an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous. NARCONON is, by no accident, a confusingly similar name (claimed to be from "Non Narcotics, or Narco-Non). Please do not be fooled by the deception. The real deal has 2 words in its name, Narcotics Anonymous (which is never referred to as "narcanon").
ReplyDeleteI hope you didn't give them any of your real contact information or you're going to discover a whole new level of spam. They call it "regging" and they will basically beg, plead and, finally, threaten you to come back and get your suppressive ass on the Bridge to total Freedumb.
ReplyDeleteGlad you got out of there with your wallet intact. Many people haven't been quite so lucky.
^Noted.
ReplyDeleteI commend you for the courage it takes to penetrate the weasels lair, return with a coherent and clear report on your experience, and publish it on-line.
ReplyDeleteAlso, kudos on the healthy sense of humour.
There is a committed group of individuals who are working hard to stop this vile cult and it's bogus agenda.
Come by anytime:
http://www.whyweprotest.net/